Let the Other Person Answer

And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.

Genesis 24:58

Read Genesis 24. Focus on verses 12 through 27 and 54 through 61. Everybody has discussed the plan. The timing seems reasonable, the arrangement would help, and several people agree that it is a good opportunity. Then someone asks the person most affected a direct question. Their answer may reveal how much the earlier discussion had assumed. Genesis 24 follows Abraham's servant as he seeks a wife for Isaac. He prays for guidance and encounters Rebekah, whose generous action in drawing water matches the sign he has requested. Her family receives the account and recognizes God's involvement. We should not turn this episode into a general method of arranging signs to guarantee a marriage or another major decision. The servant's prayer belongs within this particular covenant story. Guidance is not a reason to stop attending to people, facts, or responsible consent. The later conversation is especially important. When the servant wants to depart, Rebekah's family asks for more time. Then they call her and ask whether she will go. The narrative records her answer rather than allowing the surrounding arrangement to make her voice unnecessary. Rebekah's response does not represent every choice a modern reader will face, and the social setting differs greatly from ours. Still, the moment can teach us to notice whose answer has been presumed within a group plan. A family may decide who will provide care without asking about that person's capacity. A manager may describe an opportunity as a gift while assuming the employee can absorb the extra hours. Friends may volunteer someone's skill before discovering whether they wish to participate. The good we can imagine does not remove the need to ask. In fact, sincere goodwill should make us more willing to hear an answer that complicates our preferred arrangement. Give the question room to be real. Can the person say no, request time, or propose a change without being punished emotionally? Have they received enough information to understand what is being asked? An invitation becomes less honest when refusal has been made too costly to express. Before celebrating agreement, make sure it has actually been given by the person whose life will carry it. Respectful guidance can offer reasons, encouragement, and practical help. It need not speak so completely on another person's behalf that their own answer becomes a formality. Put It into Practice Ask that person directly, with enough information and freedom to respond. Listen without immediately explaining why your preferred answer would be easier.

Whose participation have you discussed with everyone except the person who must provide it?

God who knows each person, slow my assumptions about what others should accept. Make my invitations clear and my listening sincere. Help me welcome a real answer, including one that requires changing a plan I thought was settled. Amen.