Notice What Your Praise Teaches People to Admire

Because of truth and meekness and righteousness.

Psalm 45:4

Read Psalms 41 through 45. Focus on Psalm 45:1 through 7. Psalm 45 celebrates a king and a royal wedding. Its language is splendid, but the praise includes more than appearance and rank. Truth, meekness, righteousness, and love of what is right belong within the account of royal excellence. The ancient royal setting should not be transferred wholesale to any modern leader. The psalm's praise does, however, reveal that character belongs in the celebration. The king is not commended simply for having enough power to impress everyone. This joy follows readings with very different sounds. Psalm 41 knows betrayal. Psalms 42 and 43 long for renewed worship amid distress. Psalm 44 brings communal defeat before God. Psalm 45 shows that the prayer book has room for celebration without requiring us to forget what worthy celebration should honor. The qualities we publicly praise teach people what we value. Children hear which accomplishments receive attention. Friends notice what kinds of success make us enthusiastic. A household learns whether kindness is as visible to us as a high score, a promotion, or an attractive appearance. Achievement can deserve recognition. There is no need to turn every compliment into a correction. The question is whether our praise has become so narrow that important forms of goodness receive almost no language. Someone kept an agreement that became inconvenient. Someone included a person who was being overlooked. Someone admitted a mistake before anyone found it. Those actions may pass quietly while a more visible success becomes the story told at dinner. Naming character can help make it recognizable. Be specific. Instead of announcing that a person is always wonderful, describe the act you actually saw and why it mattered. Accurate praise is stronger than flattery because it gives the listener something real to understand. It also avoids placing an impossible identity on someone. A child praised as the one who never causes trouble may become afraid to admit difficulty. A person called unfailingly strong may find it harder to ask for help. A truthful acknowledgment need not make a permanent role out of a good act. Look again at what the king's praise includes. Truth and meekness are not decorations added after the important qualities. They belong to what makes the celebration fitting. Let your own words widen what the people near you learn to admire. The next compliment can honor more than the result everyone already sees. It can help someone recognize the goodness by which that result, or an entirely quieter day, was carried. Put It into Practice Name one specific act of truthfulness, restraint, or care you witnessed. Thank the person for that act without turning the compliment into an absolute label they must maintain.

What do people learn about your values from the things you compliment most often?

God of righteousness, give me eyes for goodness that receives little applause. Make my praise accurate, specific, and free from flattery. Help my words teach the people near me that character deserves to be noticed. Amen.