Small in Whose Eyes?

And we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.

Numbers 13:33

Read Numbers 13. Focus on verses 17 through 33. The spies return with evidence of a fruitful land and reports of formidable inhabitants. Both belong to the assignment. Moses has asked them to observe the people, cities, soil, and produce. Careful information is not the enemy of faith. But the report does not remain a description of what they saw. It becomes a conclusion about who they are. They appear to themselves as grasshoppers, and they announce that the inhabitants see them the same way. The reader has been told about large people and fortified cities. The spies have not shown how they know the private judgment of everyone who lives there. Their own diminished self perception is being presented as someone else's settled assessment. Caleb responds differently. He urges the people to go up and possess the land. His confidence belongs within God's particular promise to Israel. We cannot use it as a guarantee that every ambitious plan we prefer must succeed. We can learn to examine the conclusions fear adds to real information. A person opens a job listing and notices qualifications they do not fully meet. That is information worth considering. Then comes another sentence: “They would laugh if I applied.” The listing did not say that. The applicant has supplied an imagined audience and given it a contemptuous voice. Or someone enters an unfamiliar group and notices that others know one another. That observation becomes, “Nobody wants me here.” An uncertain situation has acquired a verdict before any conversation has occurred. Sometimes people really are dismissive, and genuine disadvantages should not be denied. The point is not to replace every concern with a positive slogan. It is to separate an observed difficulty from an assumed judgment about your worth or your right to participate. Ask what you actually know. Have you been refused, or have you decided refusal on the other person's behalf? Is there a requirement you can clarify? Could a question replace the prediction? Can someone trustworthy help you assess the situation without either flattery or contempt? The spies' language shows how a frightening comparison can shrink a person's whole view of themselves. Before long, they are speaking as though their fear has gained access to every mind in the land. Do not give an imagined observer more authority than the facts deserve. You can admit that a task is demanding without describing yourself as negligible. Bring the actual challenge to God, and leave room to discover what other people really think through honest contact rather than through fear's narration. Put It into Practice Replace one assumed verdict with a factual inquiry. Ask about the requirement, submit the suitable application, or begin the conversation you have already decided will fail.

Where have you quoted an imagined rejection as though someone had actually said it?

God who sees me truthfully, interrupt the judgments I imagine others have already made. Help me assess real difficulties without turning them into contempt for myself. Give me courage to ask, learn, and participate where it is appropriate. Amen.