The Cost of Honesty, Transparency, and Spiritual Maturity

Honesty is an expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.

That’s not an insult, it’s an observation. Some people simply can’t afford honesty yet. They’ve been paying their emotional rent with survival for so long that pretense became their currency.

When you live in a survival-based environment, deceit isn’t seen as deceit, it’s strategy. Manipulation isn’t cruelty, it’s oxygen. And truth? Truth feels like a luxury no one can afford.

To someone still living in that mindset, transparency looks reckless. Vulnerability looks weak. But to someone who’s healing, those same things feel like oxygen, clean air after years of holding your breath.

~I used to think people lied to me because they didn’t respect me. But sometimes they lie because they don’t respect themselves.~

When you’ve spent years in survival mode, you learn to anticipate rejection before it happens. You create alternate stories, polished personas, and safe versions of yourself that can move through social spaces undetected. You call it strategy, but really it’s exhaustion in disguise.

And if you’re the one in the room who’s not playing that game, the one who speaks plainly, forgives easily, and means what you say, you’ll feel like a threat. Your honesty becomes a mirror. People flinch not because you’ve hurt them, but because they caught a glimpse of themselves without the filter.

Here’s what I’ve learned asking God to let me see people the way He does:

Most of them are doing the best they can with the tools they’ve been given. Some were handed weapons, not tools. Some were taught to hide, not heal. And when they speak in code or keep you guessing, it’s not because they don’t care, it’s because truth feels dangerous to them.

So what do you do when you crave honesty in a room full of masks? You guard your peace and anchor your discernment. You stop demanding authenticity from people still living in camouflage. You love them, but you don’t loan them your peace.

Transparency doesn’t need an audience. It needs alignment.

Focus Point:

People can only meet you at the depth they’ve met themselves. Don’t drown trying to make them honest.

Jackie

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